I love to Blog ~ sorta.

I loved to blog in general ~ I love my journals, I have to restrain myself from updating all my social networking sites in general but remarkably this blog has not taken fire with me for some reason.  It seems to be directly inversely proportional to how often I think about Lindsey Kate and her diabetes.  It is always on my mind, it is always a topic of discussion at our house, preparing for the next event, taking our supplies, filling scripts.  It's not normal that's for sure...and being the ever so slightly pessimistic individual I am it's just difficult to report much news without going into a whiner state or just making it dramatic. But I do know this is a good way to keep up with our CRAZY life..So here it goes :
The kids are both great ~ in truth. They are growing every single day into better kiddos.  Carter is working very hard through a reading program at TCU to be really ready and have high skilled reading on the same level he finds ease with math.  He graciously accepts that he doesn't eat the other food that typical summer treats bring...  He has so many friends and I'm really thankful for his help with Lindsey Kate on almost a daily basis.  He got to swim in the open lake water for the first time this weekend.  He was great ~ goggles on ~ floating from the shore ~ very brave and swimming like the fish he has always been.  I can't wait to see his 3rd grade year.

Lindsey Kate is moving along getting bigger.  We have lost two teeth this summer and she is nearly as tall as Carter.  Her blood sugar has been erratic lately due to all sorts of normal life factors. We are taking markedly more insulin, due to changes in body size and summer treats that lurk most days.  She is good though and we are slowly talking and creating an open environment where she understands that someone else ( school nurse ) will be testing and dosing her insulin during the school year.  She is excited next week to take one last summer trip to see Gran in Houston.  Brett is able to take the kids with him and Paula has been invaluable in learning to care for Lindsey Kate.  It's a few days of freedom from the 4 a day shots, food fights and constant carb counting.  It keeps me sane ( well close ! ) It is good for her too to develop trust with others ~ that she can be away from me and be a OK.

I'm attaching a few pics from the family reunion on Lake De Gray in Arkansas this weekend.  The kids had so much fun playing with my brothers, cousins and the Lake.  I hope to see you all very soon ~ enjoy those last few weeks of summer.  It's not long til Fall, right ?

Created with Love by Sarah

Rocky Mountain Highs

We crossed several mountains this week...our first family vacation with Lindsey Kate and her diabetic ways.  It was a marvelous week of thin air, great meals and sweet friends.  I couldn't be more thankful for the love our our friends and neighbors the Molgaards.  Both Chad and Jenni serve as our children's co-parents ~ they are unfazed by the needs of a diabetic or a dairy free egg free diet.  They have two little people the exact same age who are growing into the sweetest of friends.  It was a week of high activity...we hot tub swam, hiked, biked, horse back rode, rafted and shopped.  We successfully navigated airport security lines all the while packed with insulin vials and needles galore.  We managed unsure carb counts in food, crazy bedtimes and the fun desserts of summer.  It wouldn't have been possible alone ~ and the security of four adult sets of eyes was comforting.

One of my favorite portions was the horseback riding in Leadville, CO.  The air was thin, really high at 14,000 ft.  It had snowed the day before nearly 4 inches but brilliantly as the sun came out with a sign the snow gave way to melt and warmer air blew in.  The horses were so gentle to Lindsey and Carter.  Lindsey instantly proved she could handle a horse alone ( egat ) and we were off on a very picture perfect ride.  I was the last in the group as it isn't any secret that horses in actuality think I am not that great !!  Mine seemed to be friendly and I was preoccupied watching Lindsey Kate love her horse.  At one the point her horse seemed determined to stop the trail ride and eat ~ he kept ducking his head down and eating ~ holding up the ride and nearly throwing LKC out of her little pony saddle.  Finally, the wrangler took the bottom of a sagebrush bush and gave it to her with instructions to swat his hiney if he stopped again ~ OK, she can love this ....she instantly was whacking and giving heels to her horse. It was hard to keep up with her ~ which is how I love her best.  It was ironic that as the child always being told it isn't mealtime yet or snack time ~ she was alive and relishing giving that horse orders !!  Carter was brilliant as well, my favorite was that the luxury of a more healthy community in Breck and Boulder is rice milk or soy milk dairy free and fruit filled ice creams, sorbets and smoothies.  Clint's in downtown Breck made a mean smoothie of blueberries, strawberries and soy milk. Watching him eat this in pure heaven was such a great moment ~ he also was brave in trying many new items on this trip ~ I look at him and see a tall 3rd grader who is growing into a version of himself.


We are extremely lucky ~ this vacation was a rest for us all from the daily grind and while altitude doesn't remove our challenges ! it did afford us time to make some good memories, say mostly nice things to each other and find time to renew our own batteries.  I took a several run and hike and bike rides all by myself with a quiet head and a busy body ~ the best state for me to return here to hot sun Texas and keep us going this summer.  It was really a perfect time and we were brilliantly lost in the moments and not living anywhere but our perfect vacation days. We have brought this spirit home and are hoping to carry on to better days and more memories this summer...Enjoy our pics. Much love from us all..and hopes your summer is beautiful as well !

Created with Love by Sarah

Graduation ~ Moving Up

Lindsey Kate had a busy past week. She lost a tooth, graduated from preschool and helped celebrate Carter's 8th birthday. Family doctor appointments Wednesday confirmed she has grown back into a healthy looking 5 year old girl in height and weight. I will say walking into the office for a 'normal' visit brought back memories of hearing for the first time that Lindsey was a Type 1 diabetic for life ~ not a good feeling but I was pretty much keeping my kids out of the doctors offices prior to that day in February. Somehow, Lindsey was behind on her immunizations ~ completely missing her 4 year old shots and Carter had not been to a routine check up in two years ?! ~ I liked it that way. 

So I survived three booster immunizations while I grappled Lindsey Kate and Carter for a bit of cardio! Lindsey didn't see very well on her vision testing ~ she was off standard in one eye ~ we are following up with an optometrist shortly ~ this is often a side effect of those kids with Type I. Many times her vision will adjust with her blood sugar ~ so we will make sure it is correct and take a proper vision test shortly. I was just relieved to see her at 86 percentile for height and 50 for weight. We did get notice this week that this year we aren't able to attend diabetes summer camp. Lindsey is such a newly diagnosed child, cannot self manage any aspect of her disease ~ like monitoring her food choices, drawing insulin for injections, test her BS with finger pricks ~ it would require the camp to have a fully dedicated assistant to Lindsey ~ so just a bit too early for this step. Next year !

Lindsey continues to have much lower than usual sugar readings ~ our summer swimming and activity lower them much more than anything else right now. These are OK ~ we just watch very closely and try to keep her making good food choices. She cannot stop moving in a good way, always up for a new physical challenge ~ she was talking to me the other day about her yoga class at preschool and how she will miss tree pose.  A kid after my own heart....but we have to be sure and ingest enough good quality food to keep up with our needs ~ Lindsey can't power herself with raw cookie dough like Mama...oops.

Lindsey graduated from her private preschool this past Friday. I'm a fairly stoic Mom lately but it was emotional. So many people, friends and myself and Brett are so invested in her health and happiness. The teachers and our family have been through quite a bit with us this year ~ getting her to a safe place. The school has seen Lindsey everyday of the weekday for a year. Bittersweet was the graduation where it meant a bit more to our family that we made it through the year...and that big kinder garden looms... I'm so grateful.  We are headed to a wonderful school with a skilled nurse whom has a daughter with Type 1 diabetes.  It will be a big adjustment ~ we will use the summer to prepare ~ but I cannot wait !!

We will try to keep you updated more often ~ must go swim now ~ but till then, all our blessings for a wonderful summer. We are headed to our beloved Colorado for a week next ~ which sounds very perfect !

Created with Love by Sarah

Happy M Day

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child.
~Sophia Loren, Women and Beauty

Long Time ~ No Blog

I truely am sorry it has taken this long to blog ~ busy busy days ! Lindsey Kate continues to be a brave little girl. She is starting to be able to understand the ins and outs of this disease. I see new awareness daily. She couldn't love running, jumping, cheering, swimming and dancing more.... and this activity lowers her blood sugar greatly. Swimming in particular is the big one ~ but we all knew this as adults ~ don't you always get out of the pool thirsty and crazy hungry?

A highlight of last week was a improtu visit to Build A Bear workshop. The kids had a ball ~ it was total fun but Lindsey ask if they had any bears with real blood as hers had diabetes. The poor bear has been getting stuck all day everyday and Lindsey enjoys making something else a human pin cushion. Another highlight last week was Sunday I ran in a fun race called Warrior Dash. Mud and running and obstacles ~ needless to say I was gone most of the day. It was a welcome break and I noted at the end of the day that it was the longest period of time I have gone without checking Lindsey's blood or giving her insulin. I left before breakfast and returned in time for dinner ~ and she was just fine under the watchful eye of Dad.

Big food challenges this week ~ western week at preschool with a cowboy lunch, cake walk fundraiser and auction at her preschool and the joy of summer ice cream and Popsicle season ! I am learning that Lindsey really prefers none of the sugar free items. She would rather pick to have smaller amounts of the real deal. Our 'find' this week was the Minute Maid real juice squeeze triangle frozen treats. Great for park time and only 15 carbs for one. Grape, cherry, orange ~ yumo. She looks like she took a bath in food coloring when she is done ~ but happy and satisfied ~ and sticky!

Two items of note this week ~ Lindsey is having a much better time with her night time insulin ~ we have perfected the no where near belly button, not under ribs and not near hip bone stick. Ice pack ready ~ snack waiting. I'm struggling with making her rotate her shot locations ~ it's important as patches can become insulin resistant with age. Starting young this is especially important ~ she fights it with fits, bargains, begging, hiding ~ but ultimately we get it done. Second note ~ Lindsey's hair is growing like gangbusters ~ really amazing. Many friends have commented this week to me about her hair looking very red, much thicker and quite long. This is a plesant side effect of having a healthy body with normal blood sugar.

The war rages on with finding a doctor to see us in Plano. I am at a crossroads of getting no more refills on everything unless I take a mandatory 8 hour class downtown ~ without childcare. How does this work??? Hmm. What about single moms, dual income household and Mom's with young babies...Errr. Trying to be patient but that's not one of my amazing qualities !! I'm determined to get the Dr. everyone loves out here ~ even if they don't take patients under 10 !!! Mama bird being protective.

Much Love to you all ~ I couldn't do this alone..I'm grateful for each of you and your support ~

Carter son

I write a bunch about diabetes ~ cause, duh ~ it's pressing us now...Lindsey Kate has had way way lows this week. Anything less than 70 is too low ~ she hit way low last night. She is so full of symptoms at that reading ~ she is indecisive, combative, like a little drunk. It's really odd to hear a 5 year old ask " Who do you think you are Mom ~ GOD ? " Only to be sweet and smart 10 minutes later with the right levels. She is overall very normal but it is just flabbergasting to Brett and I that she is so affected by having off glucose readings ~ after such huge highs it is nice to be low ~ but not soooo low. Mostly ~ she needs to finish her dinner ~ which is a challenge with any kid her age !

Carter has been on a great roll here getting older daily and making summer plans ~ he looks so much like a typical boy so many days ~ it makes me really happy to see him riding his bike, running around sweaty like his other 2nd grade friends. He is counting the days to his 8th birthday in May. He informed me tonight that he would like to let me know that he is OK with having no presents as long as his friends spend the night ~ and they all bring light sabers. WHAT?? This guy is so considerate it's crazy..never fear ~ a party is on the way ~ along with a new dairy free birthday cake creation I'm sure.

I will say last week his lunch I pack daily somehow didn't make it to the cafeteria in the assigned class basket ~ he was such a good resourceful guy ~ went through the food line and chose food he thought was safe and free of dairy and eggs. He told me he ask the workers and then made his choices.. I guess his lunchbox showed up with 10minutes of lunch left ~ and he voted no eating in order to not miss recess. It made me sad to think of him staring at his tray and wondering what the heck I had done...but he survived it ~ and didn't seem concerned ~ other than he would like to settle up with the cafeteria with the bill. HA ! Always a new challenge for sure.

I can do it MYSELF

Lindsey Kate is trying to show signs of taking over control and learning the ins and outs of managing the insulin treatment of her diabetes. This is encouraging on two fronts ~ first, she will feel less fear if she understands how to treat her own body which will eliminate some of the tears and begging and bargaining I do daily ~ second, she will enable us to return to a non-tethered relationship where I can be away from her for play dates at friends houses, parents night out at the gym, lunch dates, preschool, long park plays, grandparent visits and other things that are limited now by our 2-3 hour windows of testing and dosing insulin.
Many of our activities between soccer and even taking group fitness classes at my gym while Lindsey plays are limited by evening meal time windows. Not to mention since February Brett and I haven't been out of the house at the same time together without Lindsey Kate. It's frustrating but real life ~ it was so sudden that we didn't know to prepare ~ suddenly our Saturday night Greek, sushi, movie date was hijacked and seems impossible to ever have again ~ seems awful selfish to complain about this, but now that some of the initial fear and hurt of the diagnosis has past ~ it starts to sink in the reality of your new life. As the parents of school aged kids it quickly reminds me of returning to days of infants and such...certainly not as flexible as a 5 and nearly 8 year old who relish having a teenage babysitter come and play tag in the house for 3 hours on a Saturday night. I now just dream that one of us have a chance to escape for time alone running or golfing as adults and am not sure when I'll eat a meal with Brett again but I'm sure it will happen eventually.
I have her on a fairly detail schedule ~ we are trying to follow the rules but this week brought funny moments of testing in the car while in route to the gym and ultimately Lindsey has pricked her own finger many times for the blood needed for testing and test strips this week. She still winces a bit, it takes her 3 or 4 tries, she always tries to turn the dial down on the intensity of the stick ~ but ends up back where we know it needs to be in order to be effective. I am thankful as I watch her learn how to prick herself quickly enough that the blood doesn't thicken, get the test strip in the monitor after the prick so that it doesn't give an error message and lastly recognize when she has enough blood to test. Next, we are practicing reading the monitor ~ knowing numbers is good but understanding random numbers like 525 and 434 and 31 and in comparison randomly which is high or low or why is alot to understand if you are 5.
As well, the drawing of the insulin has to be correct otherwise you end up inducing a much lower blood sugar than intended. I confess that in sleep deprived or otherwise hectic states I have drawn insulin, only to realize I overdrew the mark and started over all again. I have also under drawn ~ so much so that one evening I actually stuck her with a blank insulin needle ~ went to press the syringe and realized I was such a dork that I had forgotten to draw at all...so it happens.
My laughter this week came when Lindsey Kate was star of the week at preschool. This was a week long celebration o her with posters of family members, all about me questions and special show n tell items. The last day of the week is for a special snack the star provides the class. Lindsey handed out small cups of bluebell ice cream like they were diamonds to all her classmates. She even attempted in her excitement to pack them the night before in her hello kitty backpack. Hmm.. nope ~ gotta keep ice cream frozen sister ~ but it was a great day and she was happy to seem very normally sugar filled for one snack.